How to get your child ready for kindergarten
Who else has a child about to start kindergarten?
If you do, you may already be worried your child is behind or unprepared for kindergarten.
My second child will start kindergarten this Fall, so I’ve spent a lot of time this summer thinking about what skills are actually needed for success - and how to cultivate them. Here’s a list of practical, fun, pediatrician-approved ways to prepare your child for kindergarten.
For a list of my favorite books to help your child start kindergarten, for separation anxiety, and even to begin to learn mindfulness skills, check out my faves page.
Preparing for kindergarten
I had an interesting conversation recently with a friend. We both have kids about to start kindergarten and we were lamenting the fact that with the internet and social media, it’s easy to feel like your child is behind even before they start!
There are so many kindergarten “readiness” lists online — and so many social media depictions from proud parents demonstrating how well their pre-kindergarteners can read or count.
Let me reassure you.
Success in kindergarten is about more than academics. While it is great that some children are able to read or do math before they start, the skills needed to succeed in kindergarten are not necessarily academic (nor are they what you’d expect).
And getting “ready” for kindergarten does not mean doing work books or starting tutoring.
How to prepare for kindergarten this summer
Here is a list of practical, fun ways to prepare your child for kindergarten.
Playing board games:
I've posted before about the value of games. They allow children to practice following rules, taking turns, waiting patiently, maintaining focus, being a good sport, and for cooperative games, working with others. Our favorites right now are Trouble, Outfoxed, and Taco Cat Goat cheese Pizza.
A separate benefit is helping the entire family reap the benefits of screen-free time together. We do a “board game night” every Sunday and take turns choosing the games. My hope is to establish a tradition that we can sustain throughout the years, both as a way to have screen free time together, but also as a way to enjoy each other. I find most parents do a better job keeping their kids away from screens than they do for themselves, and there’s tremendous value in establishing a rule from the start (before our kids have phones) that all screens get put away for this family tradition.
2. Letting him fight with his siblings.
It is triggering when siblings fight. I know my instinct is often to intervene, partly to prevent a tantrum or an injury, and partly to make the bickering stop.
Learning to share, compromise, and work things out is hard. I don’t know of any child who has mastered it. But like all skills, it can only be learned when you are forced to practice it.
So I’ve been forcing myself to take a beat and give them the opportunity to work things out. And I admit that I have been surprised at how often it has worked out.
3. Limiting my impulse to help
Sometimes, it is so much easier to just do things for your kids because it is quicker. And other times, its easier because your child is throwing a huge tantrum and you don't have the bandwidth.
But kindergarteners require some independent skills, so I've been forcing myself to take a step back and give him space.
Three main skill sets we are working on:
Meal time: opening string cheese & pouches, yogurt cups, peeling oranges, refilling his own water bottle.
Dressing: putting on shoes, zipping the jacket, doing and undoing buttons etc.
Bathroom: wiping his own butt, flushing consistently, washing hands properly and for long enough with soap and water.
4. Talking to unfamiliar people (especially adults)
Speaking up, asking for help, and making your needs known (especially when you’re in an unfamiliar space or with unfamiliar adults) is HARD. Even for adults!
So this summer, we are actively working on teaching my 5 year old to talk to waitresses, grocery store clerks, his friend’s parents and other adults we come across. From simple things such as helping us order drinks at the coffee shop, to asking a waiter where the bathroom is — just learning to communicate what he needs without shrinking back behind my legs is huge.
Most kindergarten teachers are stellar and able to bring kids out of their shell and encourage them to speak up, but I think knowing how to articulate what you need is an excellent life skill that takes time and practice to master.
5. Box breathing / calming down
Transitions are stressful - it is normal to feel nervous starting new things. And I'm sure there will be moments when he is frustrated or overwhelmed during the school day, so knowing how to take a breath and cool off that “fight or flight” response is useful.
Box breathing is a method of yogic breathing that is easy to learn and remember, and used by Navy Seals to help navigate stressful situations. Like any other skill, this is one that takes time to master, although it is finally becoming more intuitive for my oldest. I go into more detail in my prior blog post!
6. Using scissors and glue (dexterity)
Knowing how to cut and paste feels very intuitive to us as grown ups, and it’s easy to forget that this is a skill one needs to practice to master. Take the opportunity this summer to do some basic crafting (I share some of my favorite items to use on my faves page).
The Pediatrician Mom Tip: Don’t forget to teach your children how to walk around with and hand off scissors too!
7. Learning the home address and phone number
It is obvious why this is an important skill, but especially so once your child may be at school or going on field trips. Start now and have them memorize at least one (and ideally both) parent’s phone numbers, as well as your home address.
Beginning around age 3-4, I also recommend talking to your child actively about how to find help if they do get lost. Make sure they know which adults to look for (community helpers, people who have uniforms that indicate they are staff at a facility, such as grocery store clerks, or moms with other young kids) and they know exactly what to say (“help, I’m lost” is a good start).
8. Body autonomy and safety
Focus on some basics: safety and what constitutes private areas of the body (those covered by underwear), knowing anatomic terms for body parts, and understanding that adults should never ask children to keep secrets.
This topic is one that you will want to cover over and over again over the years, adding layers of information as necessary. But since your child will be in the presence of other people, often not well-known to you, this is the time to have these conversations if you have not already.
What about academics?
Most 5 year olds who are starting kindergarten will be able to count to 10, relay simple stories, follow simple instructions and naming and recognize some letters of the alphabet. They do NOT need to know how to read when they start.
In terms of academic skills, here are some basics to practice.
Reading: NO, I do not mean teaching your child to read. This is fine to do, of course, but forcing it is unlikely to make it a favored activity for your child. Instead, read stories to your child and get them used to sitting still for short busts of time and maintaining attention (10-15 minute increments is very reasonable) . Don’t be frustrated if this takes time to learn.
Language: Language can be really fascinating and it is easy cultivate curiosity about it in fun ways. Practicing rhyming and letter sounds. Taking turns making up silly poems (the sillier the better) or pointing out when certain words rhyme are engaging ways to foster this interest.
Writing: Its helpful for kindergarteners to be able to recognize and form upper and lower letters, and to practice letter sounds. Help them write their name, or practice by sending letters and cards to grandparents (and hopefully receiving some back). Even if they dictate and you write the letter, and they only sign their name, this is a step in the right direction.
Arithmetic: Being able to count to 10 and recognize numbers is helpful going into kindergarten. You can also work on recognizing shapes and doing basic addition (“lets count how many ice cream scoops they are putting into your cone!”)
